Representation -> Identification -> Expectation of Consequences -> Self-efficacy. 

Yonatan Zunger gives his usual clear and insightful summary.

Originally shared by Yonatan Zunger

The story below contains nothing which is likely to surprise anyone: white men advocating diversity in the workplace get treated net neutrally for it, while women or people of color doing so get rated worse by their peers than ones who don’t. What’s important about this is the consequence: that if you are a white man, this puts more of the onus on you to do this.

This is part of a general pattern. We each have things beyond our control which lead to us being treated better or worse than other people. If you’re seen as white in the US, you’ll be treated better in various ways (by cops, by employers, by business owners, etc) than if you were otherwise identical but black. If you’re “gender conforming” (e.g., you’re male and you look it and you act it), you aren’t (among other things) in danger of being killed for it. And many of these things can be subtle and situational: there are times and places where (e.g.) being black, or being female, is an advantage, just like there are times and places where those aren’t. And you almost certainly have a combination of features: maybe you’re white, male, gender-conforming, and straight, but also grew up poor and had no access to a lot of basic things that everyone around you is taking for granted.

The technical term for a thing you can’t control which makes people treat you better is “privilege.” I personally hate this word, because in English it implies something slightly contemptible, and like if you have it then everything in your life must be fine. That’s obvious nonsense, which makes this a terrible word for a very important idea. The technical term for the fact that everyone has different things for and against them, and these interact in complicated ways in their daily life, is “intersectionality.”

But here’s the thing: There’s nothing wrong with having privilege. You can’t control that, any more than you can control not having it. It’s just something that’s sort of there. It has no notion of whether you “deserve” it, because it’s something that was assigned to you before you could deserve or not deserve it.

What you can control is how you use it. In particular, with each privilege comes a responsibility to use that privilege for the benefit of people who don’t have it. (You didn’t ask for the responsibility, either, but that’s life for you. It doesn’t really care.)

That doesn’t mean infinite responsibility, and this is far from the only responsibility in your life. You absolutely can and should balance between them.

But you need to be aware of what privileges you have, and keep an active eye out for when something seems to be depending on them, and question that. Because here’s the thing: lots of the things which depend on these things aren’t even explicit “oh, I like this one better” sorts of things. They’re things that happen so subtly that you don’t even see them unless you’re actively looking. In fact, the most common effect of a privilege is “not having to worry about X” – which means that it’s only obvious to people who don’t have it. Another common form is “there really aren’t any X’s around here;” well, what’s stopping them from coming?

Spend your time talking to people who are different from you in various ways. Listen to them: recognize that their experiences might be really different from yours in a way that seems outright bizarre at first. (“That would never happen! People aren’t like that!” “They aren’t like that to you.“) The things really going on often won’t be obvious. 

And when you do find things, do something to fix them. Often what’s needed most is something simple and straightforward: for example, people like X aren’t showing up somewhere because they don’t feel they’ll be treated equally, that people will always see them as other. Just taking the effort to actively welcome people, and to seriously pay attention, is a very important first step.

(Far from the last step, of course, but it’s an important place to start)

This isn’t just true for managers; it’s true wherever you work, live, or play. Take active steps to welcome people who are different from you. It’ll make your, and their, lives better.