The gradual advance of women has seen many new opportunities and possibilities open up for them, but fewer for men. That’s one of the reasons two of my recent books (Mister Bucket for Assembly and the not-yet-published Illustrated Gnome News) depict men exploring the possibilities of enjoying “women’s work” as well as vice versa.

I was fortunate to grow up with a close friend who’s gay (although I didn’t know this until we were in our late 20s; such were the times). We somehow managed to remain free from some of the more toxic expectations for how our friendship could be and how we performed masculinity.

I’m a middle-aged straight cis white man, but that doesn’t need to make me into a stereotype.

Originally shared by Keith Wilson

While society is chipping away at giving girls broader access to life’s possibilities, it isn’t presenting boys with a full continuum of how they can be in the world. To carve out a masculine identity requires whittling away everything that falls outside the norms of boyhood. At the earliest ages, it’s about external signifiers like favorite colors, TV shows, and clothes. But later, the paring knife cuts away intimate friendships, emotional range, and open communication.