Yes. This. Always assume that what the other person has to say is worth listening to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Originally shared by Dave Higgins<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n When I checked G+ this morning, I saw that Kiki Jewell had commented on a mutual acquaintance’s post that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n “It’d be nice to see a posting of something men can proactively do that’s happy and positive, and results in a situation that makes us all sexually comfortable. Where men take responsibility and shoulder some of the burden of healthy sexual relationship for both.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Today seems like the ideal day to give that a try. Not because it’s #InternationalWomensDay, but because it’s always an ideal day to do something worthwhile. So, here goes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Most proactive thing I can think of that men can do? Be someone who is open to discussion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Not in the narrow in-the-middle-of-sex sense of saying you’d like to try something now, letting them raise a concern, then trying to convince them to do it, but as close to all the time as you can manage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Anyone, anywhere, any situation, be open to discussion. Live the belief that other people’s opinions are worthy of consideration. Evangelise for reason having value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Really. Properly. Not just when it will get you something, but even – especially – when it might not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Wondering what you get out of it? Time for a story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Many years ago, a friend of a friend had a bouquet of roses left on her doorstep without a note. She had my friend check whether they were from me. They weren’t. When my friend relayed back that they weren’t, she commented that it was a shame: she wasn’t interested in me, but if they’d been from me rather than one of the other possibilities, it wouldn’t have been creepy. Which was a pleasing thing to hear when the message was passed to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Not sharing this to suggest I’m perfect. Rather, to point out that striving to respect everyone’s agency even when it didn’t serve me, made me not creepy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Which is a good thing in itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n And means that there’s no need to be constantly on edge that the slightest innocent thing might be misinterpreted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n What should men do that’s proactive? Instead of focusing on active consent when you think you’re about to have sex, be a person who lives the consensual nature of society.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Yes. This. Always assume that what the other person has to say is worth listening to.
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